Wrestlers Criticize Canadian Environmental Record

According to the WWF (World Wrestling Federation) Canadians are among the most wasteful people on Earth when it comes to making use of our natural resources:

A new report...says Canadians rank fourth in the world in their consumption of the Earth's resources.

Only the United Arab Emirates, the United States, and Finland leave a heavier environmental footprint upon the land.

"Straighten up and fly right, Canuckleheads!" WWF spokesperson Hollywood Hulk Hogan said at a news conference today. "Or I'll come up there and KICK your energy inefficient asses! Try bicycling to work! Try turning the thermostat down and sharing a blanket, like those two gay cowboys from Alberta!"

Hulk snarled and rent his muscle shirt, and then, inexplicably, shed a tear. "If not for yourself, do it for all the little Hulkomaniacs of tomorrow!"