Off To Get An MRI

When you read this, I will be getting my brain scanned at North York General.

The problem is that, over the course of the past 12 months, I've spent about four or five of those months feeling like I'm walking down a pier. Mild vertigo, in other words, accompanied at times by mild tinnitus. Very persistent. Day and Night. Tiring, sometimes, although the Novo-Betahistine pills take the edge off. And then it goes away for weeks or months. And then it comes back.

I've had all the normal tests--X-rays of the skull and etc. and nothing has come up. The neurologist I was sent to (Levitan--quite good) doesn't think its too serious. He (and my regular dr. as well) suspect high blood pressure. In fact, Levitan gave me his standard lecture on cutting down the sodium in my diet. And its all totally rehearsed: he whips a can of Campbell's soup out from underneath his desk, and a box of crackers: "Look at this! Just ten crackers...390 milligrams! And this can of chicken soup...canned soup is the worst..another 320!! And at first glance it looks like a pretty healthy meal!!"

So while I've been waiting for my MRI the past month or so, I've been trying to cut back. For example, I've replaced my potato chip breakfast with fruit. And, while I've always publicly advocated eating more fruit, its only now that I've had to do it myself that I realized how much fruit tastes like bland bullshit. So its been difficult.

And I may be thwarted in one of my most important life goals, which is to eat 2,000,000 fried chicken wings at a 1,000 different sports bars. If I stop right away, I will come up about 112 wings short.

So if anyone wants to suggest a few low sodium recipes in the comments that taste a bit more flavourful than plain tofu, I would appreciate. But be warned that anything that actually involves tofu will be rejected. Tofu is a culinary dead end. I've had tofu sandwiches flavoured to taste like egg or pork or whatever, and it doesn't work, so don't go here.

Plus you have to keep your tofu at a certain temperature and under certain conditions for it to grow until the point that you want to kill and eat it, so in the end its like you're murdering a pet. No. The Asians are right about Dim Sum, right about Sushi, and definitely right about nunchakas, but with tofu they fucked up. It happens to everyone occasionally. Look at the Scots and the bagpipe. This is the same, but culinary.

Anyway, see you on the other side.

Update: Am back. MRI's are loud and make all sounds of buzzing and bloopy noises. A bit like listening to the late Kraftwerk. The only discomfort I felt was afterwards when I had to pay for parking. Hearing tests are set for May.