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Thursday, April 04, 2019

Doug Ford's OHIP Changes: A Bummer, or Not?

I'm especially wondering about his plan to cut back on pain relief for colonoscopies.  I've gone through the procedure twice.  First time around they hit me with a General and I still didn't pass out.  I watched on a B&W TV screen as they maneuvered the probe up and down my ass.  It was like watching a guy wandering through a big sewer system with a cheap flashlight.  I pointed at the TV and asked what's that and the doctor said motherfucker you're awake you must really know your way around narcotics!  But I don't remember any actual pain, so maybe I'm with Doug on this one.

Mind you, they also want to cut funds for pain relief when they remove the polyps they find during the colonoscopy.  I didn't have polyps, but from what I hear what they do is they stick the end of the probe in some liquid oxygen so its really cold, they nail the polyp with the cold end so it freezes/burns like a wart, but one that's up your ass.  And then they send another probe with snippers at its end to snip the thing off. 

So I think Doug loses me here.

14 comments:

  1. Holy shit. I can't get this without being knocked out because of a condition the first guy who tried to it on me referred to as a "bowel loop". He worked on me for what I think was over twenty minutes before giving up. I won't call it pain, but it was the second worst sensation I've ever experienced. Omitting the first, that includes broken arms, legs and a collar bone; multiple dislocations of both knees; torn muscles; and being kicked in the balls. When I managed to squeak out that if I'd known about the treatment I would have stayed home and died, he threw down the tools. He told me there was an instrument that would do it, but the hospital didn't have one and therefore I should fuck off and go home.

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