Conservatives are Just Liberals Who Don't Know They're Gay

...and because they don't know, this kind of shit happens:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) - The president of the National Association of Evangelicals, an outspoken opponent of gay marriage, has given up his post while a church panel investigates allegations he paid a man for sex.

The Rev. Ted Haggard, who has been instrumental in getting a proposed ban on gay marriage onto the 2006 Colorado ballot, was outed by his former sex partner, "Escort" Mike Jones. Mr. Jones claimed that Haggard paid him to have sex nearly every month for over three years, and smoked crystal meth before each encounter for an added kick. Taped phonecalls reveal the Rev. negotiating for meth.

There are also rumored to be pictures showing the two men spanking a naked midget with Haggard's necktie, which has the words "God is Discipline" sewn into the fabric, although I'm actually the one trying to start that rumor.

BigCityLib (less straight than unimaginative)