Galactus Guest Post: Mea Culpa

Dear Newt,

As per your instructions, I have disintegrated Washington, D.C. Unfortunately, I struck a bit wild to the South and disintegrated everything down to Springfield as well. Tee Hee. My bad.

Yours,

Galactus, Eater of Worlds
(also cup-cakes)

Galactus On Gingrich: A Guest Post

Dear Pathetic Mortal,

Galactus cares not for private ballots, for nothing is private before his all-seeing, all comprehending gaze. Galactus cares more about the junk email that crowds his in-box every morning, of which your piece is one of the most egregious examples. Furthermore, Galactus sees the name "Newt Gingrinch" and is forced to wonder...has his temporal displacement mechanism mal-functioned and returned Galactus to the 1990s? For Galactus can gaze upon the future, and nowhere does Galactus see "Newt Gingrich" in it.

Yours,

Galactus,

Eater Of Worlds

On Pranking Newt Gingrich

Newt's latest brainchild is "American Solutions", a

...unique non-partisan organization designed to rise above traditional gridlocked partisanship, to provide real, significant solutions to the most important issues facing our country.

And one of American Solutions latest projects is the "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less" on-line petition, which asks that the U.S. government

...act immediately to lower gasoline prices by authorizing the exploration of proven energy reserves to reduce our dependence on foreign energy sources from unstable countries.

Drill in Alaska and "off America's coasts", in other words. As of this moment, the petition has collected 305,781 signatures.

Now, as you many know, I have a conflicted relationship with petitions. However, I do have a friend who is not above such things. I told him about this one, and last night my friend received the following email from American Solutions Executive Director Dave Ryan:

Dear Galactus,

The Boxer-Warner-Lieberman Gas Tax Hike bill is being debated in the Senate.

If adopted, this bill will lead to an increase in gas prices by as much as $3.00 per gallon in the next two decades.

Call the Senate switchboard at (202) 224-3121 and urge your Senators to vote against the Boxer-Warner-Lieberman Gas Tax Hike. Tell them that gas prices are high enough and we need real solutions, not more taxes.

Well, the big G, Eater Of Worlds, read this and he's pissed! He's flown off to Washington, not only to "urge" his Senators to vote against Boxer-Warner-Lieberman, but to disintegrate them down to their constituent molecules if they cast a Yea vote! Go G!

Fuck The Polar Bears!!

In Search Of "The Center" In The Climate Change Debate

Is Lomborg a tool of the Right? Does Newt Gingrich deserve Big Kudos or at most a pat on the bum for acknowledging the existence of AGW? Gristmiller Dave Roberts and N.Y. Times Journalist hash it out.

Sorry, I'm sport's bar blogging and trying to add words to my novel. That's it for now. (Good read through the third link, though)