Frankly, I think eating snails has driven our boy insane. They're okay for awhile, and then one gets stuck way back in the shell and you think "Damn! that's two bucks worth of escargot!" and start hacking at the slick, butter covered snail carapace with those funny looking long forks they give you in a desperate attempt to smash your way in, or you puncture the back of the shell and try to blo the thing out and peg the lady at the next table with a snail projectile.
And then the waiter looks at you funny...
Come home, Paul, you're wasted on the Gauls.
