Friday, March 13, 2020

Life In Scarborough: The Plague Journal, Day II

Visited The Elsy (LCBO) today.  I notice that while they're knifing each other over toilet paper at the Walmart across the parking lot, here everything is calm.  People believe that Water and wipes are essential, booze some kind of peripheral benefit.  These people are fools!  Give it a couple of weeks, when they have all been forced to spend time at home WITH THEIR CHILDREN!  No Porn.  No sports but for  UFC fighting and repeats of Ali vs.Antonio Inoki   They will cry out for the sweet darkness that alcohol brings!

I will liquidate my stock of toilet paper on the toilet paper Dark Net, buy Pabst up the yin-yan and in April gouge these pathetic yokels until they squeal!   BOOYAH!

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Life In Scarborough: The Plague Journal, Day I

This evening at the local Metro  I saw something resembling "panic buying".  Not quite at that point. Nobody got violent.  More like the kind of lineups you see before the Superbowl or a long-weekend.  Except everyone, everyone, was buying toilet paper and bottled water.  Nobody was buying beer.

Which doesn't make any sense: you buy toilet paper and bottled water when you're expecting the Zombie apocalypse, or basic services to fail, not when you're expecting a sharp economic downturn. 

I wonder if these people know something I don't?

Saturday, January 18, 2020

On The Existence of Street Pianos In Toronto Community Centers

I used to be totally against them.  It was always some no-talent eight year old plinking out a ghastly version of Chopsticks and you can't tell them they suck or STFU! because their parents will get upset and report you to the facility staff because you haven't positively uplifted  their precious snowflake.

But now I am actually listening to some guy with honest-to-gawd training and it isn't so bad.  He's playing some classical shit.  "BA DA LOONG DOONG DOONG PING!  PING! PING! PING!  BA DA LOONG DOONG DOONG PING!  PING! PING! PING!"  Maybe Mozart.  Definitely not Zep, and not that Billy Eyelash kid.  You notice she's always getting nose-bleeds, by the way?  In every video I watch.  She's anemic and she should see a doctor.  And her brother, who writes her stuff,  should go into a used music store somewhere and buy an electric guitar.  They're probably cheap as fuck these days because  young musicians don't know what to do with them.  Billy's brother could rediscover the power chord or something.

In any case, he should buy his Sis some iron tablets.

As for these electric guitar thingys.  They use them in the video below.  Young people should take note.  They would make your music suck way less.