Friday, March 02, 2007

Alberta To Ontario: Freeze In The Dark!

There is seldom any point to taking issue with a columnist from the Sun Chain, especially one of their girl writers, who seem to be chosen for their ability to foam up cutely rather than reason at any length or use words of more than a single syllable. It's too much like trying to review a bubble-gum card or being a heckler at the Special Olympics. However, the Calgary Sun's Licia Corbella has decided to take a few gratuitous shots at my beloved Toronto in her Friday column, and I could not let that stand.

Licia writes:

Ontario Liberals are burning mad over the gasoline shortage in Toronto and across the province. Dan McTeague, Liberal MP for Pickering-Scarborough East, blamed the gasoline shortage on "Big Oil."

We had 44 refineries in Canada 20 years ago and we now have exactly 13, and two or three of them are either running offline or have very little capacity," McTeague complained to reporters.

Uh, but isn't that precisely what Liberals want? Aren't less refineries, less oil-sands development, higher gasoline prices and more Canadians riding public transit the Liberal plan?


Yes. That's exactly what the Liberals, and therefore, by definition, most Torontonians, say they want. It's also what the Green Party and NDP advocate.

Actually, what Torontonians want is:

1) What the mayor of Fort MacMurray wants, which is the development of the tar sands according to a plan that does not allow unchecked growth to trash the Alberta landscape or allow tons upon tons of of CO2 to be pumped into the atmosphere. Surely the mayor is not alone among Albertans in wanting these things?

2) More and better public transit. Licia gets that one correct. We Torontonians do tend to approve of public transit. But what does Licia have against public transit? Does she think it unmanly to not own a pickup truck?

3) As for higher gas prices, thanks but we already have those.

Ms. Corbella goes on to blame Health, Safety, and Environmental standards that are just too damn high for the fact that Canada has so few gas refineries on-line these days. I wonder, since she is happy to ascribe beliefs to literally millions of people on the basis of statements by a single Ontario MP, whether it is safe to say that Albertans, or maybe Conservatives, are in favor of lower health and safety standards. If so, they should make it a part of their next election platform.

Anyway, Corbella winds up with:

In any event, many Albertans who fear Ontarians will vote Dion into power and thus destroy their economic security again, as they did when the National Energy Program was imposed upon the oil industry in Alberta, are enjoying watching Torontonians line up for gas.

"To quote Ralph Klein, 'Let them freeze in the dark,' " wrote one reader.

As a Torontonian, let me say that I'm glad we're providing Alberta with entertainment. Of course out here in the East it is considered pretty tasteless to get a kick out of the misfortune of others, no matter what their politics might be, but I suppose that must be put down to cultural differences.

And, oh yes, one other important cultural difference between Toronto and, for example, Calgary, is that out here we make it so that our roads go both ways.

When Calgarians have figured out the concept of a two-way street, they can call us and we'll be happy to explain the more complicated stuff, like Opera.

17 comments:

Ti-Guy said...

Aren't less refineries,...

What an illiterate hack. It's fewer refineries, Ms. Corbella.

Where to they get these people, anyway?

Dan said...

"maybe Conservatives, are in favor of lower health and safety standards. If so, they should make it a part of their next election platform."

Well, they are trying to promote asbestos in children's toys...

Lord Kitchener's Own said...

I thought it was a great article.

Never before have I seen the argument that gas shortages, severe weather, and the threat of terrorist attacks were reasons for us to INCREASE our dependency on oil.

Very entertaining satire.

Oh, wait...

The Jurist said...

"maybe Conservatives, are in favor of lower health and safety standards. If so, they should make it a part of their next election platform."

Well, they are trying to promote asbestos in children's toys...


There's that indeed, though the bigger example lies in the Cons' efforts to strongarm provinces into agreeing to gut their own regulations. Which would be a great issue for the Libs to run with (both from a federalism standpoint) if Dalton McGuinty wasn't going along with the idea.

The Jurist said...

Posted too quickly - the brackets should include "and from a 'Cons as anti-government' standpoint".

paul said...

I'm surprised at Licia's ability to even look at this issue...she did write an article for the Sun saying democracy was at work in Alberta because the government chose not to allow billboards on the side of the QEII-the will of the people!! Her very words were that Ralph Klein deserved a pat on the back for that, because there is nothing more important in Alberta right now than fewer billboards.

Red Jenny said...

many Albertans who fear Ontarians will vote Dion into power

Huh?

paul said...

BTW BCL we don't need the opera because we have The StampedeTM and it is the very essence of culture and class!!!

Anonymous said...

you poofters are really serious about the 'fewer' or 'less' thing arnchya?
See ya after detention dudes.
Read some Dr K. and Mr.J.
Less Taxes!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

sorry, me, anonyme again,
I posted a while back and thought you were serious about the 'fewer', 'less' thing.
then I thought...gee, they're just satirizing and making fun of some peoples' addiction to proper grammar...umph English (freekin' western white boy elitists).
I'm with ya. Less refineries mean less gasoline mean less greenhouse gas emissions.

Anonymous said...

A bit of perspective here folks.
Licia is a former Scarberian, but would probably not want to let too many of her comtemporaries know that, since she wants be seen as the Joan of Arc of Albertan indignation. Which brings me to another interesting tidbit on Corbella. Guess who's spouse works for........... Shell Canada ?

Freeze in the dark indeed Licia.

Consider yourself outted !

Alberta Bound

bigcitylib said...

anon 8:46,

Interesting. Adler is a displaced Torontonian as well. In fact I met him once when he worked for Garth Turner. He was a puffball back then. He moved to Clagary and became an uber redneck

rockfish said...

Obviously amnesia is in when it comes to moronic columnists in Alberta. Seems the last time we had a Connie gov't, Alberta was on the brink of have-not dome... And who was at the tiller the most productive and successful economic period - that wouldn't be 13 years of Liberal rule, right? Now, not that the feds can take credit for all great things during that time, because we know Klein gets credit for injecting his dinosaur farts into the earth to create the oil. However, research and development, incentives towards production and mining, were all big aids in getting the oilsands off the ground. The economy has been rolling ever since, but you'll find few if any Sun (or Canwest) columnists going postal on the Alberta Tories lack of investing into infrastructure and preparing the communities and Albertans for the cost of unfettered development, right? Of course, us Libs could point to Martin's comprehensive program of turning over plenty of funds for infrastructure to cities, but then we know that's tooting our own horn. It kind of clashes with that ol' NEP war song...

Rudy Espinoza said...

"And, oh yes, one other important cultural difference between Toronto and, for example, Calgary, is that out here we make it so that our roads go both ways."

Is that a slam against heterosexuals?

Maritimer said...

Your roads go to ways? Since when? Let me know when your two way roads make it beyond Quebec...

JimBobby said...

Whooee! Ain't this here Licia gal tho one who was caught plagiarizin' a coupla years ago? Looks like the Sun don't care.

I don't reckon she's worth the time o' day but if the Alien Alberts is buyin' inta her brand o' nasty nationalism, maybe they wanna know what sort "journalist" she is -- one who's got a vested interest an' a reputation fer dishonesty.

JimBobby

Anonymous said...

If letting Ontario freeze in the dark will help save the planet, I'm ready to make that sacrifice.