Die Media! DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!

WINNIPEG, Feb 10, 2010 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Canwest Global Communications Corp. ("Canwest" or the "Company") announced today that Ms. Gail Asper OC, OM, LLD, Mr. David Asper and Ms. Lisa Pankratz have tendered their resignations from the Company's Board of Directors and all other director and officer positions with Canwest and its subsidiaries.

Derek Burney OC, Canwest's Chairman of the Board, said he thanked the Asper sibs for getting the fuck out now, assholes!, and if they were ever seen on the property again he would call the Cops.

Also, there's some information in the story about the company's "forward looking statements". Apparently, they all start with "We are so totally fucking doomed that..."

PS. Personally I figure I've chopped 5 cents per share off CanWest's market value. Booyah! That's why they won't stick me on their shitty "full comment" page! But they've still got a chance...morons! Otherwise wait 'til I run across one of them (Jonathon Kay, I'm looking at you!!) after their midlife career change, which is sure to involve burgers, hot grease and a spatula! I'll ask for extra mayo, and I will never be satisfied!