Fake Lake, Free Booze!

“It’s really pathetic,” said one staffer. “It’s almost like a wading pool for kids — and not a very good one.”

The good news is the canoes surrounding “Piggies Cove” are beautiful.

And, even better, is news the bar that’s been set up for the fine people of the media — all ready to serve local Ontario beer and wine to journalists, for free of course — is spectacular.

Free Booze + journalists + proximity to water = seeds of tragedy. Hopefully, everyone will pass out face-up.

Also, I think maybe I've tried one variety of Ontario wine and found it highly chewable. Stick with the Streamwhistle, media folk.

PS. You wouldn't believe how many images google kicks up when you search for "drunk journalists".

PPS. Shania Twain will be singing at the G20: that's definitely a "drink until the darkness claims you" moment.

Ballad of Fake Lake

Of all the bad poetry generated by the upcoming G-8/G-20 summit, Jimbobby's is the baddest. Here's a sample, sung to the tune of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald:

With a Muskoka chairs and canoes in the air
The fake lake was meant to thrill writers
A pleasant surprise, there ain't no blackflies,
No mosquitoes or other skin biters.

Fake Lake was the pride of the Conservative side
With fake loon songs and JumboTron pictures
Of real lakes and woods and handcrafted goods
And all the outdoors you could wish for.

All together now...

Fake Lake Fucks Tories!

Actually, the new Nanos poll looks like random drift to me. But feel free to overinterpret away. Personally, if forced to, I would say that half the 1.6% Tory decline is due to the G-8/G-20 boondoggle, half due to the their Opus Dei friendly maternal health care initiative.

Why Not Call It "Big Fake Lake"

Toronto- The Council of Canadians has applied to the Geographical Names Board of Canada to have an artificial lake currently under construction at the Direct Media Centre in Toronto named after Prime Minister Stephen Harper. At a reported cost of $1.9 million, the lake is intended to resemble those found in the Muskoka region with a fake dock, fake canoes and a Jumbotron display showing cottage country photos to the international media in Toronto for the G20.

"We have sent an official request to the Geographical Names Board of Canada to have Canada's newest lake named "Harper's Folly" in honour of the Prime Minister" said Mark Calzavara, the Ontario/Quebec Organizer for the Council of Canadians. "We believe that all Canadians-regardless of their political views- will agree that the only thing more outrageous than spending $1.1 billion on a three day meeting is thinking that an indoor lake next to a big television could possibly compare to the spectacular beauty of cottage country."

Info on how to support the to CoC campaign lies through the link.

PS. As for this whole spending scandal, I suggest we start referring to it as Fake Watergate.