Friday, August 05, 2011

Further Notes In Advance Of The Economic Apocalypse

Just a quick note and I'm off to Walmart to stock up on canned items.  Lucky for me, TD (my financial institution) has such shitty service its actually impossible to have a "run" on the bank. 

Anyway:

1) Never point the shotgun at your own foot.

2) All the half-decent savage deities require blood (preferably the blood of virgins, but pretty hard to come by in T.O. these days unless a comic book convention is in town).

3) As mentioned previously, you can always eat your leather belt.  Doesn't matter what brand; they all taste awful.

4) And when it comes down to it, eat the old first.  The young, though far tastier, are supposed to be our future.  You can always eat them later.

PS. This is actually a crap report, but previous reports have been so crap that it looks good in comparison.  I think you need about double to even keep up with population growth.

8 comments:

R. G. Harvie said...

Just a thought.

Before someone decides that "registration" isn't enough and "confiscation" makes more sense (which it actually does... but I digress)..

You might want to follow my lead and obtain your PAL (Possession and Acquisition License).

Because if someone ELSE wants to eat your belt, you might want to be able to have something to say about it.

Oh.

And you might want an "equalizer" in your pocket to overcome the physical advantage of youth when they decide that YOU are the "old" that needs to be eaten first.

Oh.

And you may not want to advertise that you have a store of canned goods at home.

Just sayin'


Cheers :)

Mark Francis said...

"I'm off to Walmart.."

Bastard!

I hope you choke on the excess sodium.

LOL.

Jerome Bastien said...

BCL:

Thank you for your warning. I am stockpiling water and cans starting now. The news that only 7000 new jobs were added in July is clearly a sign of the apocalypse, and everyone who says otherwise is a denier, probably in the pay of Big Reality or something.

Besides, according to this, 4.5 billion people will die from global warming by 2012. Since none of these 4.5 billion deaths have occurred so far, and since every pronouncement on global warming by progressives is true, it follows that the next few months will see 4.5 billion die from global warming.

Add to that the economic disaster brought about by lower arts funding in Canada and libaries closing in TO, I say the human race is finished.

Oh well, we had a good run.

bigcitylib said...

Jerome, I know The Canadian. It is occasionally funny, it is not news. But yes, stockpile now. This is only the beginning of the downturn.

Jerome Bastien said...

It is occasionally funny, it is not news.

Is it really satire? They have an item in there about Harper wanting to make vitamins illegal. Im reading and I can never decide, are they serious, or are they kidding? It's tough.

bigcitylib said...

I actually think they are entirely serious but crazy.

Maria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maria said...

I agree with you BCL they are serious but a little bit crazy.


Maria[man suit]