Last year, the
Sun News Network managed to con a few pathetic souls into forking out
$1,050 for a $400 weekend up in Muskoka, the extra cash bestowing the privilege of hanging with the likes of Ezra and Brian Lilley. Here's a picture from Sunday morning, as the guests attempted to escape into the surrounding forest:
Apparently none of them got out alive, or at least nobody has been willing to speak of this "Freedom Weekend" in the months since.
Now Ezra and the gang have dreamed up a sequel that is even more fiendishly evil--
a whole week on a boat with Ezra, Brian Lilley, and Pam Geller who, lets face it, is
not as hot as she
once was. Imagine seven days in a dentist's chair, and then throw in sea-sickness to boot.
Personally, I can see no strategy that would get me through such a week. Drinking every night until the darkness claims you--like you do with the in-laws at Xmas--might work, but a lot of those cruise companies make it hard to smuggle booze to you cabin, and charge 7$ or 8$ for a rum and coke. So achieving the peace of unconsciousness each night would be an expensive proposition. This being Alaska, I suppose you could end it all by throwing yourself on the horn of a passing Narwhal...
In any case, the date is early August, and if the CRTC
refuses to give Sun News mandatory carriage in April, it may be all over by then. Your ticket money might wind up paying for Ezra's bus back to Lethbridge. I sense, therefore, that this "Freedom Cruise" will eventually disappear beneath waves of misadventure, and sink to the very bottom of the
Flop Sea.