My wife mentioned my alleged bald spot the other night, after I refused to move some furniture for her with sufficient alacrity.
She's not the first to have made note of it. There have been persistent rumours that I have a bald spot just a little back from the very peak of my skull, a spot which is almost impossible for me to see. The thought has always worried me...that I will lose my hair and be the last to know. That the voices I hear from behind me sometimes, laughing, are laughing at the vast wasteland that my scalp has gradually become.
So I took our old digital camera out and took about 30 or 40 shots of the area, holding the camera above my head and pointing downwards, and I am happy to announce, upon examining them closely, that the rumours are definitely FALSE. At best the hair at that spot might be said to be thinning. THINNING!!! NOT GONE SOUTH AND NEVER COMING BACK!!! And anyway, its probably been like that for years. AND you can only really see it from above, so so what? Why should I care what someone going by in a low flying helicopter thinks?
I have informed my wife that she will get no flowers this week.
Thank you for listening.