Thursday, August 01, 2013

Notes On Property Ownership

Attended my very first condominium corp. AGM.  People who knew told me it was going to be a freak show, and it was. Angry white men, incoherent mumblers, fact challenged defamers, preening small-town-council wannabe floptards, guys that talked like they were lawyers but weren't, guys who ran for village dog catcher and lost because they were too fucked-up-in-the-head...they all showed. We even had a lawyer that looked like a chubby 15 year old  and stammered and sweated when he became flustered, much to the amusement of everyone in attendance. And they actually elected a couple of new board Members!  One  ran on the platform that there had been no explosions in the building during her previous term.  She lost. And I kept flashing-back to my time in student politics, except that nobody offered to drop their pants to demonstrate that they were biologically human. Although I didn't stay quite to the end.  My wife tried being friendly, but I said don't engage the crazy people or look them in the eye.

Man, if I'd known it was going to be like this I would have stayed  renting.  Local politicians didn't give a shit what I thought back then, but the junky down the hall thought I was "really classy".

8 comments:

Matthew Day said...

ROFL! Yep, that sounds like a typical Condo meeting. Thing is, if you do not show up, you will discover the following week that everybody in attendance gets an extra three parking spaces rent free, or something equally outrageous.

deb Scott said...

Run for president of the crazies. Act loud, brash and bray about outrageous ideas to improve building politics. talk about building retention. A sure fire winner...indoor pool.
then get the crazies to bake mad cookies to sell for it.
another great fundraiser, weeklong garage sales;P where you collect everyone elses junk and sell it to hoarders for as much as you can squeeze out of them.
all community groups, meetings and local political events are outlandish and filled with the eccentrics crazy enough to show up:)
have fun at the next one, perhaps even select a group of execs that can meet weekly ( suggest they use your place but tell them they buy the beer)
*disclaimer poster has attended too many politically charged small town meetings over the years and thereby has become crazy by association*

Rene said...

Mt brother was thinking of buying into condo ownership, and I referred him to you blog account to scare him off the idea.

Quite a Seinfeld universe you inhabit...

James Calder said...

My last condo didn't allow parcels over 4' long in the elevator. No one owned brooms, I suppose.

There were knocking on door policies. Limit of three knocks.

Children were only allowed in the pool between 1-4 on school days. Not weekends, not in the summer ... only 1-4 when school was on.

Political signs were not allowed in the windows UNLESS the board also endorsed the candidate. Approved candidates were distributed in our newsletter.

Euchre and coffee was Tuesday mornings though.

Mavis said...

I think I have you beat. At our condo meeting the chair boasted about the building's policy of allowing no pets, no children and students (which surprised me as all three are in the building in abundance). He then defended the "no child" policy by saying that because of it there's never been a murder in the building.

deb Scott said...

Time to buy a house?
burbs time?
the worst you could have is ford as a neighbour.

Steve Bloom said...

deb's first comment has it.

One simple equation: Subways=>pool

BCL for Uberhausfuhrer in '14!

deb Scott said...

awesome Steve, just perfect, esp the grandiose title:)
BCL might have to die his hair whiteblonde and keep it cropped!