Like reverse mortgages, for example. I should never have told my own parents about those. Now every time we get into an argument they threaten to "reverse the mortgage" so I wind up with squat.
Finally, not all old people are for eating. I'm getting old, but I'm pretty cool and also sympathetic to your plight. I'll be the balding guy wearing a hoody with Bob Marley on front, so you'll know to leave me alone.