Message To Millenials: Until You Are Ready To Kill Your Folks, You'll Never Amount To Anything

The charts tell the story.  Your entire generation is being screwed, and your only hope is to launch a violent, possibly cannibalistic uprising against your elders.  Otherwise they'll figure out a way to take it all with them, to fly off with the loot on the back of their jet-powered mobility scooters.

Like reverse mortgages, for example.  I should never have told my own parents about those.  Now every time we get into an argument they threaten to "reverse the mortgage" so I wind up with squat.

Finally, not all old people are for eating.  I'm getting old, but I'm pretty cool and also sympathetic to your plight.   I'll be the balding guy wearing a hoody with Bob Marley on front, so you'll know to leave me alone.