Friday, June 23, 2006

Raising the Age of Consent: Can You Still Nail Your French Teacher?

I wasn't going to write about the new Tory sexual consent bill because it's such small-bore stuff, the kind of legislation you pass when you can't pass anything more important, just so you can say you've got something done. But then it occurred to me that, had such a law been in effect in the late 1970s, it might have done immense damage to the sexual maturation process in many of the lads I attended high-school with back on the old Left Coast.

Specifically, the new act states that:

The bill includes a so-called near-age exemption of five years, which means that a 14-year-old could still have a sexual partner aged up to 19, and a 15-year-old could have a partner up to 20 years old.

The aim is to avoid criminalizing sexual experimentation by teens with their peers, but provide a way to prosecute older adults who target youngsters.

Now, back at my old school, Spencer Jr. High, we had a French teacher called Louise LeClaire (pictured above), or Ms. LeClaire when she was in class. The boys had any number of nick-names for her, of which the most polite was probably "torpedo tits". The name was accurate, too, for Ms. LeClaire's chest was truly Epic. When she was teaching the grade 10 girl's gym class (her other specialty was P.E.) at the same time as the boys were out, no rugby got played, and no other useful training got done. Fifty boys would just gawk in awe as she led her students through their stretching exercises, and those girls knew that nobody was staring at what they were packing.

I don't know how old Ms. LeClaire was. She taught at Spencer Junior for all three years that I attended, and some people from Dunsmuir Senior remembered her later on when I moved there, so she was definitely more than 20 years old.

And there were a number of rumors concerning Ms. LeClaire (which I could never confirm, but have no reason to disbelieve). One was that, if you were a special favorite, she would make you stay late after French class. She would take you behind her teacher's desk, go down on her knees, and let the straps of her dress slide from her shoulders. Then she would take your thing from your pants and tit-fuck you until you passed out.

Another rumor was that she would hide in the boy's locker-room after hours, and catch the last boy coming in from track practice. They'd find her in the showers wearing nothing but a beret. She'd make them soap her down, then kneel on the tiles and grit her teeth heroically as the chosen boy drilled her up the ass. Needless to say, I spent many evenings hanging around the locker-room in my track gear, as though I had recently been engaged in some kind of physical activity. However, I never encountered Ms. Leclaire, though the basketball team caught me one afternoon as they came off the court and I passed a whole night stuffed in a locker.

As I say, I have no reason to disbelieve the stories I've heard, but the point is, even if it didn't happen, it would have been great if it had. I can't see any fifteen year old boy that would want to criminalize such behavior, nor any sane adult. In fact, teenage boys dream about this kind of thing every day of every school year all over the U.S. and Canada. You might even argue that such an encounter would have been a terrific foundation stone upon which a teen could build a healthy sexual self-image.
But the Conservatives don't understand this, because they hate and fear Sex. And they hate and fear Sex because, I would suggest, they don't get any sex. I mean, we all know about Bubba down there in The WhiteHouse, and we know that Trudeau was still swinging like a master into his 70s. But Conservative politicians just don't cut it. If you look at Joe Clark, or Stephen Harper or Justice Minister Vic Toews (pictured above left with boy-toy in full S&M regalia), it is hard to imagine how they could possibly get it up without using crutches and spray-starch.

In any case, this is BigCityLib signing off from BigCityLib Strikes Back, the only blog where you can get boobies with your political analysis.

19 comments:

Ti-Guy said...

Brilliant.

L'il Max said...

BCL,
Perfect for signing up 15 year olds as future life-long Liberals.
"You Conservative bastards. You've taken away our right to nail the hot French teacher."
Sounds like this could spawn one of those fresh new policies the Liberals are looking for. I can hear it now - "The Liberal Party will work to ensure every young man has a fair chance to develop a healthy sexual self-image. To ensure this, we will repeal legislation that raised the age of consent."
Like you said at the top of the post - you should've avoided commenting on this if this is what you came up with.
Pathetic.

aliasdictus said...

And let's not forget that these are the same yahoos who think it's appropriate for 12 yr. olds to be doing hard time in adult institutions.

Mark Francis said...

So, it's still legal for a 20-year-old to screw at 15 year-old, but if the 20-year-old turns 21, or is 21 instead...

This is simply just control-freaking. A solution looking for a problem.

Wish my french teacher was that hot.

Dr. Dawg said...

My God! Our police chief may want to have a word with you. Or was he off-duty when the picture was taken? :)

Anonymous said...

BCL goes off his meds again.

bigcitylib said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bigcitylib said...

L'il Max is clearly a conservative who is not getting any.

Ti-Guy said...

I think for people like L'il Max, being a priggish, prissy humourless scold is sex.

Anonymous said...

them's nice tiddies . . . I mighta satyed in school if'n my teachers was good lookin like her . . .

Saskboy said...

Je t'aime?

Paul said...

That was the same routine my gym teacher had, but he was a guy!

On a side note, we just had Vice (cops, not the magazine) in for an info session. They were talking about the age of consent and how we need to get tough on crime just like the States. My response was, "Because crime is unheard of in the States nowadays". I wasn't trying to be rude, but jeez...

SUZANNE said...

If that woman had approached my kid, I'd definitively want her in jail. This is about my right as a parent to protect my kids from perverts.

Keep protecting those pedophiles.

Anonymous said...

"Because crime is unheard of in the States nowadays".

Sigh. So true.

Why does the vice squad think they should have any say about getting tough on crime? Enforcement officers always want the strictest possible penalties. It's why we don't let them decide and have the court to make the real decisions.

Anonymous said...

Well BCL, I've been reading your comments on this site, on liblog sites and your trolling on other sites for some time now.
I never did have a whole lot of respect for you, and now I really do have absolutely NONE!!!
It is very obvious when you were 14 (as a 14 year old...female or male...not sure which; read somewhere that your female); really have no idea about this subject.
When I was a 14 year old this did happen to me...not a teacher...but with a 27 year old married woman. You can make fun of it all you want and wish that you were lucky enough that it WOULD have happened to you...but it doesn't work that way. At 14; and I can say this from acual experience; you are not ready for someting like this.
Now if I had been born into a good liberal family, things probably would be good as all the lying that I did years ago would be OK. It does take its toll though and does affect you for your life!!
I remember reading about a teacher that was having sex with with 1 or 2 girls in his class and after it hit the news, he hung himself. From your comments this should have been Ok....nothing wrong with having sex with your students. How do you think these young girls feel!!! I'll bet they will be affected for life. Your probable response would probably be to lower the age of consent...makes me really wonder if you might be a pedophile...I think that I might let the RCMP know about you.

Anonymous said...

You do that Anonymous, and while you are at it make sure you tell them all the bad things that happened to you.
There is no time limit on reporting wrong doing. You can still find justice for yourself. Do It! You'll feel better for saying the truth about who did what to you when... Don't let it fester and colour all your life. Go to the Police and report the wrong that has been done to you!
BCL, thanks for putting yourself out there like that, saying what many (most) Canadians think about the Age of Protection fiasco.
If there were really such a thing as the age of protection...
"heavy sigh"

ottlib said...

BCL, you lucky bastard.

My French teacher, when I was that age, was this fat psychotic bitch that would have a conniption if you happened to use an "accente grave" when you should have used an "accente ague".

Anonymous said...

What do you think the chances are that "Suzanne the virtuous", defender of the blastocysts, has a countenance even remotely resembling the charmer in your blog picture.

My guess is that she more resembles the blastocyst in intelligence.

I don't normally resort to low humour but if the "thugs" can't class up their pathetic intrusions they must be embarrassed into it, if that's possible.

william fudger

Ti-Guy said...

All my teachers were French. And none of them were nail-worthy.

*sigh*...I hated high school.