Well, I sure am back in the shit! Dad's gonna kill me. He's told me: one more lawsuit and boom! no more allowance. And then what? My Sun News gig is going T.U. on me. Pretty soon I'll be on a bus back to the tar patch.
But back to what? Dad's said: "Fuck up one more time and you're out the door! A road map and an apple is all you get, and then I rent your apartment!" Right now I'm seeing a room at a Motel 6 in my future, eating off the hot-plate, and waiting tables 16 hours a day up in Lethbridge to pay my lawyers' bill. Would you like fries with that, sir? No? How about a muffin? Oh how far to fall!
I don't think I can hack it. I've grown used to the soft Toronto living, to the two-way streets and the sweet city coffee they make out here. I don't think I can go back to Tim Horton's...big dumb, Tim Horton's. Boring...like the coffee equivalent of the missionary position.
Maybe I can try an apology this time, and get in front of the issue. YO AWAN! I'M SORRY!!! I'M SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY! I'M SOOO SORRRRRYYYYY!!!! you swarthy little prick. Didn't mean that! DIDN"T MEAN THAT!
I wonder if anyone heard me.
3 comments:
Looks like article has been taken down. Mmmmmm
Ezra is a parody of the average conservative voter. If he would grunt, wave a towel, and stomp his feet it would make him even more relevant.
HEY! BE NICE! Not all of us are done with mish yet.
Post a Comment