Friday, June 13, 2008

Gingrich, Galactus And Chuck Norris...Together At Last

The latest brainchild of Newt Gingrich is "American Solutions", a:

...unique non-partisan organization designed to rise above traditional gridlocked partisanship, to provide real, significant solutions to the most important issues facing our country.

Basically, they want Congress to allow drilling in Alaska, off California, and so forth.

Anyway, my buddy (who signed their "Drill Here Drill Now" online petition) got another email from them this morning:

Dear Galactus,

As gas prices are at an all-time high, the American people are demanding that Congress take action to drill here and drill now. More than 650,000 Americans have signed the "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less" petition, and that number keeps growing rapidly each day.
[...]

We're excited to announce today that Chuck Norris is supporting our "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less" campaign. Watch him talk about it in this new YouTube video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=JnVVkCsw41c.

Hell, why stop at Alaska? With Galactus and Chuck Norris both onside I bet they could convince Congress to let 'em go to Mt. Rushmore and drill for oil through Abe Lincoln's head. Because Galactus could disintegrate all of Washington with a wave of the hand, and lets face it, you don't fuck with Chuck.

4 comments:

toujoursdan said...

Yup. More simplistic answers for simple-minded thinkers.

Even if you gave the oil companies carte blanche to drill anywhere they want, it wouldn't offset the slow decline in oil production worldwide or change the rapid growth in oil consumption from China, India and the Middle East. Prices would still go up about as quickly anyway.

Add to the fact, North American refineries couldn't process the extra oil anyway. They are near capacity now.

But don't let the facts get in the way of a good partisan talking point.

Ti-Guy said...

It's not just "American Solutions." It's "American Solutions for Winning the Future."

I swear...they've all gone pre-verbal.

ScruffyDan said...

according to the US EIA Gingrich's plans would decrease oil prices by about 1-2 cents per gallon in 2025.

Hardly worth the environmental degradation such drilling would cost, but Gingrich's oil buddies don't want you to know that.

ScruffyDan said...

I wrote about this here:
http://www.scruffydan.com/blog/?p=1319

and the EIA report is here:
http://www.eia.doe.gov/oiaf/servicerpt/ogp/pdf/sroiaf(2004)04.pdf