From CTV:There was absolutely nothing Ho Ho Ho about the letters Rosalyn Da Costa's children got from Santa yesterday.
In fact, they included filthy messages.
They are two of 10, inappropriate letters dropped in mailboxes across Ottawa in the last two days, but there could be more.
Yesterday, Canada Post shut down its Write To Santa program across the city while it joins Ottawa police to hunt down the "rogue elf."
It was no rogue elf, though, but the fat guy himself, who sent an exclusive statement via e-mail to this citizen journalist.
"Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em all!" wrote a clearly agitated St. Nick. "Buncha greasy assed little shits with green hair and rings through their nose! The whole damn lot of them are getting nothing but coal! Not in the stockings either but POINK! Right off the ole beezer!
"And what is it with the crap they're calling music these days. Rap fucking metal??? Bull fucking shit!!! And EMO? What the fuck is EMO??? Go whine me a river, kid!!! Anyone expecting an Ipod this Xmas is gonna get it jammed straight up their ass!"
Santa also claimed that the new U.N. directive to "shape up and slim down" had totally ruined the experience.
"I came up to the pole to get away from all that PC crapola. Even up here, though, Mrs. Claus won't let me smoke within 100 yards of the elves, and now I'm being told to lay off the pizza puffs! Suck Santa's big white walking stick, is what I say! Next thing they'll make it illegal to piss dirty messages in the snow!!!"
When informed that Florida stores were selling Santa Claus Hates You t-shirts, our man responded with a sincere sounding:
HO! HO! HO!
14 comments:
What is it about working for postal services that makes people nuts? Or does it just attract crazy people?
...this is where the anonymii could provide some useful insight.
The volunteer postal workers answer about a million letters a year since the mid-70s. 15,000 work on them, on their own time. What happened is unfortunate, but hardly applicable to postal workers in general.
Would that only 1 out of 15,000 Conservatives were a mean-spirited asshole who scares kids.
You're right. I was being unfair. It's just that I had a package delivered by Canada Post a few weeks ago by someone who looked like an axe-murderer. He got really angry when I asked him for ID (he was collecting duty).
Thanks for the laugh BCL, Well done my friend. I know incidents are serious but the interview with Santa was priceless. Merry Xmas.
Is this Neo's real job? I think we need to get to the bottom of this. So to speak.
The liberal bubble continues to burst:
Yesterday's National Post ran an open letter to the Secretary General of the United Nations by 99 scientists on the subject of climate change. The whole letter is worth reading; here are some excerpts:
The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has issued increasingly alarming conclusions about the climatic influences of human-produced carbon dioxide (CO2), a non-polluting gas that is essential to plant photosynthesis. While we understand the evidence that has led them to view CO2 emissions as harmful, the IPCC's conclusions are quite inadequate as justification for implementing policies that will markedly diminish future prosperity. In particular, it is not established that it is possible to significantly alter global climate through cuts in human greenhouse gas emissions. On top of which, because attempts to cut emissions will slow development, the current UN approach of CO2 reduction is likely to increase human suffering from future climate change rather than to decrease it.
The IPCC Summaries for Policy Makers are the most widely read IPCC reports amongst politicians and non-scientists and are the basis for most climate change policy formulation. Yet these Summaries are prepared by a relatively small core writing team with the final drafts approved line-by-line by government representatives. The great majority of IPCC contributors and reviewers, and the tens of thousands of other scientists who are qualified to comment on these matters, are not involved in the preparation of these documents. The summaries therefore cannot properly be represented as a consensus view among experts.
This is a key point. The IPCC Summaries are universally viewed as authoritative in the press, but they are political, not scientific, documents. More:
Contrary to the impression left by the IPCC Summary reports:
* Recent observations of phenomena such as glacial retreats, sea-level rise and the migration of temperature-sensitive species are not evidence for abnormal climate change, for none of these changes has been shown to lie outside the bounds of known natural variability.
* The average rate of warming of 0.1 to 0. 2 degrees Celsius per decade recorded by satellites during the late 20th century falls within known natural rates of warming and cooling over the last 10,000 years.
* Leading scientists, including some senior IPCC representatives, acknowledge that today's computer models cannot predict climate. Consistent with this, and despite computer projections of temperature rises, there has been no net global warming since 1998. That the current temperature plateau follows a late 20th-century period of warming is consistent with the continuation today of natural multi-decadal or millennial climate cycling.
In stark contrast to the often repeated assertion that the science of climate change is "settled," significant new peer-reviewed research has cast even more doubt on the hypothesis of dangerous human-caused global warming. But because IPCC working groups were generally instructed (see http://ipcc-wg1.ucar.edu/wg1/docs/wg1_timetable_2006-08-14.pdf) to consider work published only through May, 2005, these important findings are not included in their reports; i.e., the IPCC assessment reports are already materially outdated.
The letter's signatories include some of the world's most eminent scientists, like mathematician/physicist Freeman Dyson.
I gave the anonymous above sexual favours to post that comment. That's what deniers and trolls do in our free time...we pleasure each other.
Most in the scientific and academic community consider Freeman Dyson to be one of the greatest scientific/mathematical/physics minds of our time, often considered a modern day Albert Einstien.
Freeman Dyson in his own words:
“My first heresy says that all the fuss about global warming is grossly exaggerated. Here I am opposing the holy brotherhood of climate model experts and the crowd of deluded citizens who believe the numbers predicted by the computer models. Of course, they say, I have no degree in meteorology and I am therefore not qualified to speak. But I have studied the climate models and I know what they can do. The models solve the equations of fluid dynamics, and they do a very good job of describing the fluid motions of the atmosphere and the oceans. They do a very poor job of describing the clouds, the dust, the chemistry and the biology of fields and farms and forests. They do not begin to describe the real world that we live in. The real world is muddy and messy and full of things that we do not yet understand. It is much easier for a scientist to sit in an air-conditioned building and run computer models, than to put on winter clothes and measure what is really happening outside in the swamps and the clouds. That is why the climate model experts end up believing their own models.”
Where's ti-guy to tell is this guy's a fool?
LOL.
I don't think he's a fool. I think *your're* a fool. You don't even understand the issues that he's critiquing and yet you accord him more credibility because he's saying what you want to believe.
Ahhhh,
So by quoting him, I clearly evidence that I DON'T want others to consider his quoted words.
ti-guy, stick to insults from the sidelines, you're obviously not equipped for the playing field.
If it makes you feel better I can throw in a few more spelling errors you can chide about.
BTW,
to translate the above quote to your level:
the computer models are a joke.
the man made global warming theory, which is based on a computer model is a joke.
those who believe in the gospel of those computer models (such as yourself) are a joke.
and those who try and twist the above statement into some sort of support for the man made global warming hysteria, because they can't even fathom that a great thinker doesn't believe in the gospel (again such as yourself) are even more of a joke.
Anon, 5:19, thank you for making my point for me far more eloquently than I ever could.
BTW,
to translate the above quote to your level:
the computer models are a joke.
the man made global warming theory, which is based on a computer model is a joke.
those who believe in the gospel of those computer models (such as yourself) are a joke.
and those who try and twist the above statement into some sort of support for the man made global warming hysteria, because they can't even fathom that a great thinker doesn't believe in the gospel (again such as yourself) are even more of a joke.
You can just smell the science coming off of this angry fathead's blather.
Great job...very compelling.
What do you know about computer models, Biff? I hope it's a bit more than having played SimCity.
Well, let's see. It's a pretty safe bet it wasn't a Christian who did it. Almost certainly not a conservative either. So that leaves secular leftwingers - you guys. I hope you're proud of your brethren's activities.
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