"Yo buddy, what's with the stupid little cap? Do those things screw onto your head? Bah hah hah!"
"Doesn't anyone bathe around here? And what's with the men in dresses?"
"You know the best thing about this place? No damn Ukranians."
"Not a chance!... Ahmed, Ahmad. With the beards, how can anyone tell them apart?""You mean the Gaza Strip isn't a shopping mall?
"See this newspaper? It's written in Heebish. I speak Heebish, and 25 other languages, just as good as Heebish."
"Is anyone else hot? Nobody told me it was gonna be this hot."
"Don't point that thing at me, towel-head! I'm gonna be President of Canada!"
"D'you know these guys had a war when I was on holiday? You knew that? Why doesn't anyone tell me this stuff?"
"This whole fucking place is just a bunch of dirt! Why would anyone fight over a bunch of fucking dirt? What? It's holy dirt? So the fuck what? How Pre-Post-modern!"
"Hey! Now the shots are coming from both sides!"
Iggy's trip is cut short when he is disappeared by Israeli security forces, who give him a thorough demonstration of their new electrical nut-cruncher. Apparently, after twenty minutes, Iggy confesses to being the man behind 9/11, and is sent to a secret prison in Kazakistan. See how well torture works?
1 comment:
Getting lonely BCL? Must be tired of talking to yourself through your various aliases. No matter, once I’m running this duck berg there will be no need for blogs. All media will be controlled through Iggy-approved outlets: TorStar and G&M. Cherniak will find his true calling baking blintzes for bar mitzvahs, while Ted and Warren will have prominent positions in my PMO. You, my good friend, will join foodbankguy operating a Iggy sponsored food bank in northern Haifa, within Katyusha range of HezboLebanon. The campaign is unfolding as planned. Foodbankguy is running out of canned beans, hockeyguy got lost on the way to the arena, Dion will soon join Celine’s act in Vegas as a ventriloquist, Rae-daze has become the Marxist-Leninist candidate having proposed three new taxes, Scotty is off in the corner with Bill, Volpe is talking to Bill Murray about a role in Ghostbusters III. The Iggy era is about to dawn.
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