Thursday, April 12, 2007

Canadians Apologize To World For SSMarriage

CFAC, REAL Women and others have issued an open letter to the remainder of the planet apologizing for Canada's legalization of Same Sex Marriage:

We are grieved and troubled as we consider the impact this is having in weakening the fundamental institution of marriage in countries and cultures around the world. We understand that because Canada does not impose citizenship or residency requirements in order for same-sex individuals to be “married” here, couples are coming to Canada to seek legal sanction for their homosexual relationships with the intent of returning to their own countries to challenge those countries’ legal definition of marriage.

Well, its a free country, and you can apologize to whoever you want for whatever reason you want. But if I were saying sorry for things Canadian, I would probably start with Celine Dion, and work my way slowly through Ralph Klein, Nickelback, and C difficile before I got anywhere near our current suite of rights legislation.

(PS. That little "pansy boy" crack of mine in the last post got me turfed off the drafting committee of the Homosexual Agenda, where I have served quite proudly as the only straight white male. Somebody finked me out to the United Nations! Now my own personal dream--that dangerous convicts should be able to express themselves by redecorating their prison cells--will probably be eliminated from the final document. Way to go, people!)

19 comments:

Ti-Guy said...

As good Christians, these people should understand that regret and apology have to be followed by acts of contrition or they are meaningless in the eyes of God. So, how does Real Women of Canada et al. intend on making it up to the Rest of the World for Canada destroying the family?

I suggest they all become missionaries and go forth, beyond the borders of Canada, to heal a troubled world, which they, as Canadians, helped create.

I'll even help them pack. And I won't even snicker at Gwen Landolt's jumbo underwear and massive supplies of over-the-counter stool softeners. I promise.

JimBobby said...

Yessirree, the whole dang country's fallin' apart an' whaddya wanna bet climate change is God's way o' creatin' a little bit o' hell on earth t' punish us fer our lowdown ways in the selfsame sexy marryin' department.

Shee-it! The Merkans she's talkin' to are probbly happy that the gays are comin' here an' hopin' they'll stay up here evilgaymarriageland.

Best thing we could apologize for is what every Merkan blames on Canada - cold weather. The Merkan TV weatherbabes is always talkin' about a "cold front moving in from Canada." But maybe with the glowball warmin' puttin' Satan's blowtorch t' the Merkan southland, maybe they'll appreciate the cold fronts an' we won't hafta say we're sorry.

JB

Dan said...

Creed was an American band, we owe no apologies for them. Nickelback and Theory of Deadman though, we need to apologize for those.

bigcitylib said...

Dan,

Good Lord, you're right! I've made the change.

Ti-Guy said...

We really need to apologise for David Frum and Mark Steyn. We let them out, and look what they've done. And now that they're planning for a June wedding...well...Lord help us.

everyone else said...

on behalf of the world, the apology is accepted.

Jay said...

I thought that would be considered "spreading democracy" if they come here, get married and challenged their home countries laws.

Maybe they should just create sectarian violence back home or just invade a country and usher in democracy. These nut jobs seem to prefer this other way of "spreading democracy".

Gayle said...

I for one think REAL women should get organized and run candidates in the next election. Stop complaining and DO something, since Harper clearly won't.

And, if that should happen to split some of the vote on the right, it would not be a bad thing...

Ti-Guy said...

I'm sure REAL et al. would like to do just that, but I think it's unreasonnable to expect people scrabbling among the smouldering ruins of their families while wearing hair-shirts and engaging in self-flaggelation to do much more.

Anonymous said...

We could apologize in advance for Ezra LeRant and send him out of the country.

Pays to work ahead.

socialism is a bad disease said...

we should apologize for judy rebick. Butt ugly, very stupid and a latte socialist sucking off the teat of Canadians for years

Ti-Guy said...

Judy Rebick was born an American; not that it matters to me.

Anonymous said...

How are we at fault for c difficile? Did I miss something?

bigcitylib said...

Anon 9:58,

Well, the nastiest versions of C. dif. broke out most recently in Canada.

Anonymous said...

The age expectancy for homosexual who enter these relations is near 50 while that of normal Canadian men is near 80, recently confirmed again by research papers in the Scandinavian countries where these forms have been present for quite a few year. So it seems Nature is taking care of the problem.

West End Bound said...

Yeah, they need to apologize for those homosexuals, don't they??

Before you know it, we'll be moving into your neighbourhood and redecorating . . . .

Be afraid, be very afraid . . .

Anonymous said...

REAL women can't run. It is hard when you're handcuffed to a cooking implement.

Anonymous said...

Is it we who should apologize for Stephane Dijon, or is that France's job?

Ti-Guy said...

Your parents need to apologise for not practicing abstinence.