Tuesday, March 01, 2011

I, BigCityLib, Will Now Eat A Bug

Because its been a childhood dream of mine, and the folks at Hotlix candy have designed an attractive line of insect toffees. My immediate inspiration is this guy, and I have chosen a scorpion because a) they are distantly related to lobsters and I'm hoping the taste will be similar and, b) an old white guy behind the counter of a junk jewellery store in Yuma, Ariz. once told me that "candied scorpion" was considered a delicacy by the local Cocopah Indians.

So, without further ado:

Before



After



8:58 AM, First Impressions: The candy itself is hard and quite sickeningly sweet. Maybe not such a great idea for breakfast. As for the scorpion, it doesn't taste much like lobster. Not much like chicken either. Very crunchy, however. Very, very crunchy.

Stomach is holding up pretty well.

9:05 AM, Second Impressions: Brushed my teeth to get the candy flavor out of my mouth. Didn't work. Checked between teeth for insect parts. Found something that looked like an eye-stalk, removed.

So far so good, although stomach is now casting me threatening glances.

9:15 AM: Okay, the rest of the bug has been flushed and is now heading down the pipes to Lake Ontario. I think I might have to go lay on my side for a bit. Bad idea all around.

This might be all I manage to write today.


Stupid Cocopah Indians.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Stupid Cocopah Indians"

probably why they didn't make it as a society and have been confined to the rubbish heap of history.

Ti-Guy said...

Man, even your humorous, totally non-political posts bring out the Stormfronters.

...Shouldn't have pissed off KKKate and her minions so badly. They're still seething after all this time.

Zorpheous said...

This might be all I manage to write today.


Stupid Cocopah Indians.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ROTFLMAO!!!!

Seriously, laugh like an idiot after reading this.

"Stupid Cock'er'roach" Came to mind when I read this,... LOL

Anonymous said...

Geez, what a pissy bitch.

Möbius said...

I thought lice were related to lobster?

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHAHAA!!

Stupid leftist asshole.

Serves you right.

Anonymous said...

actually, fried crickets, fried locusts, fried ants, and fried bees, are among the delicious things I eat every day in China, year 2007. No stupids here! the stuff is oishii! Westerns gotta learn to open their taste buds. There's more to life than pork and beans, or meat and potatoes, or pizza.

Anonymous said...

Stupid white boy falls for it...blames indians.

Typical.

sexy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Terrence said...

Ti-Guy is back? Did they let him out of prison early?

[kidding]

bigcitylib said...

Actually, I just redated the old post so these are old comments. No, I'm afraid Tiguy is still AWOL.

Terrence said...

Oh weird. It's early in the morning here and I didn't notice.

thwap said...

I think it's up to harper's ego. A week or so ago he was willing to impose his corporate tax cuts, um, ... I believe the expression is "come hell or high water."

Now he might have second thoughts but Ignatieff will have a field day with it.

Tof KW said...

While I agree with you that chances are good there is no election this spring, I'm not so certain about your wager. If you think arthropod proteins are indigestible, wait 'til you try nylon!

CK said...

Get ready to eat your hat.

http://www.nationalpost.com/news/Tories+support+poll/4367919/story.html

That budget will have so many poison pills in it, even the NDP won't be able to support it. Even if they did, Harper will find a way to drop the writ sooner rather than later.