Monday, November 13, 2006

Noel Gallagher on the Quebec Nation: Model of Fookin' Clarity

H/T to pop(all love) for salvaging this nugget from Noel Gallagher's Exclaim! Magazine interview. Andrew Coyne, Iggy, Stephane Dion...other members of the Canadian Commentariat, hang your heads in shame. Here is a man who knows what he means and says what he thinks:

I think of [Canada] being absolutely freezing fookin' cold. And I also think of this fookin'
weird, weird French influence. What's that all about? What business have they got over there? Why French? I was in a Dunkin Donuts in Canada, and the menu was in French--the whole thing, right. And I asked the woman for a coffee, and she only spoke French. Now, I've taken a lot of drugs in my time mate, but I've got to say that the single most frightening experience of my life was thinking, "I could have swore I was fookin' in Canada when I got off that tour bus. And now I'm in...am I? No. I don't know." And then I said to the woman, "You can speak English, can't you?" And I think she was getting annoyed that I was being a bit rude by that point, because she was only speaking French. I was going, "I know you can speak English. We're in Canada. And I know you understand what I'm saying." I may have brought up something about the war and then left.

Other than succinctly expressing his belief that the French in Canada should bloody well learn English (if they don't know it already but continue to speak French out of Gallic uppitiness), this passage reveals interesting information about Mr. Gallagher's state of mind: specifically, that he only has a loose grasp of his location in physical space. He is on a tour bus, maybe in Canada, but definetely between gigs in foreign cities miles apart; between girls, between anonymous stadiums where he hacks out chords night after night for the world's most expensive Beatles cover band...

...which for some reason reminds me of Howard Dean, who the Canadian Liberal Party have coaxed from his American tour to perform as key-note speaker during their leadership convention at the beginning of next month. Not that I have anything against Mr. Dean; his fundraising techniques have changed the landscape of American politics, and he is just coming off a very successful midterm election campaign. However, if the Libs wanted to learn about these Net-savvy fundraising techniques, it would be alot cheaper just to handout copies of his book on the floor of the convention center. Instead, Howard Dean will recieve a ton o' ton o' money to deliver the same speech he gives on the rubber chicken circuit, whether he's in Montreal or San Diego:

And we're going to Missoswaga! And we're going to go to Eeetobeecoke! And we're going to Mushaboo! And then we're going Shaboogamoo! AAAAEEEIII!"

1 comment:

LadyL said...

well now why was she speaking only French to him?
i've never been to Canada, but surely living in US and going there would definitely make me think what the hell is going on? they're supposed to speak English there too!
And he isn't the first to come up with this story. i've known people who said the same, so quit blaming it on his drugs.