I've timed it on several occasions, and when I set my washing machine to Express Wash, it tells me the wash will take 30 minutes. But it doesn't, it takes 37 minutes. Everything is fine until the last minute of the cycle, which takes 7 minutes. This seems dangerously misleading on the part of the manufacturer. You could be washing interview gear in there. You could lose a shot at a good job if you showed up 7 minutes late. And then your marriage could fall apart, and you could wind up addicted and homeless, sleeping in that porta-potty they left unlocked down by where they're renovating the Guildwood Inn.
This isn't about me, by the way. I'm good. There are larger issues at stake. How could something like this happen in 2017? Russian hackers hacking the Internet Of Washing Machines? Something must be done.
The delay is no doubt caused by the machine reporting what you are washing to the CIA, or maybe it's Obama.
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