They Seem Less Perky...

Conrad Black invokes his wife's health in an attempt to wheedle his way back into the peaceable kingdom.

Actually, I am starting to soften towards His Blackness, if only because he seems positively classy when measured against folks like The Vampire Teneycke. No! Really! They say adversity builds character, and being imprisoned has obviously been a positive experience for the guy. Waterboard him a few times and he'll be almost human... and then let him back into the country.

He's like a tough piece of meat. He needs tendering, and that usually requires whacking with a stick.

PS. Don't look at Barb's picture when you're reading the paragraph above: "meat"..."whacking"...and etc..

Or take a shower now.

Conrad Black Too Broke To Come Home!

Conrad Black must await sentencing in the U.S., because he can't muster the funds to get into Canada, ruled Judge Amy St. Eve today. She also ruled he should be given a daily spanking with a wet towel, to soften him up for those lonely men he'll meet in the joint.

Say, whose that hot chick beside him? Is that Barbara Amiel? I bet if she ever runs out of the blood of virgins, she'll crumble into dust like that chick in The Hunger .