Tuesday, June 09, 2015

BCLSB EXCLUSIVE: Taped Secret Convo of Evan Solomon With Art Client

The following is a transcript of secretly taped phone conversation between Ex-CBCer Evan Solomon and one of the art collecting guys he was doing deals with.   Gives an exclusive look at the whole "high-end" art community and the shit they get up to.

ES: This one here is a Jan Weenix, from the Dutch Golden Age.   "Still Life With Dead Parrot", they call it.  Note the bright colours. Almost to Group of 7 levels, and they claim the  bird stands for Jesus.  Whatcha say? Guy's contemporary with Rembrandt, but Rembrandt commands major scratch. This I can get you for 20 large, with a 5% off if you buy a second Weenix, maybe "Still Life With Dead Snake".

JB: It's a bit dark for my pool room; do you have something that will go with puce?

ES:  I can get a version of it where the parrot is yellow.

JB: Fair enough.  And...do I get points?

ES: Bring your card and we can swipe  it on delivery.

JB:  OK.  What else you got?

ES:  Looted Aztec death masque.  From wherever it was they were from.  $2,000 apiece, 6 for 10 cubed.  Hang 'em in places you don't want the wife to go.

JB: I need to look.  Send me a .jpg.

ES: See attachment.

JB:  Oh yuck.  Reminds me too much of The War Pig.

ES: Who?

JB: My sister-in-law.  No thanks.  Anything else?

ES: Folk crafts from the Ukraine.  A plinkerino.

JB: Of fuck one of their ancient 3 string guitars? Sounds like a busted Uke?  No chance.  

ES:  Well, I got nothing.  

JB: We're done then.

1 comment:

deb said...

poor evan...adios senor
well I am curious to see who replaces him, perhaps it will be rex murphy, as we know he has lots of integrity and would never be moved by money to compromise "his" journalistic principles.