As you know, last year Ezra Levant and the Sun News Network arranged a "Freedom Weekend" up in Muskoka for big-C Conservative zealots. Since nobody who signed up for that trip has ever spoken ill of it, or even been seen again, Ezra and the gang have decided to try again with a 7-day excursion up the West Coast to Alaska. A "Freedom Cruise", as they are calling it. Ezra and co. have even provided a nice FAQ for potential cruise-goers. I shall reproduce a few of the Q/As below, along with my comments and interpretations:
What to wear
For this cruise, you will want very casual and comfortable wear during the day. This means slacks, shorts, T-shirts and sweatshirts as well as comfortable walking/hiking shoes. In general you should dress moderately on shore and save the dressy clothes for the ship.
Translation: no fashion showboating in front of the locals. In Alaska its dark half the year, and they need a human sacrifice to prepare for sunrise Also, some of the oil rig workers up there haven't seen female flesh in a yonks. If you don't want to get yourself killed, gang-raped, and eaten, pretend you're in Saudi Arabia. This applies to the guys too. Maybe especially.
All future correspondence will go to the address on your confirmation. Address changes must be received in writing. There is a booking number on your confirmation. Please write this number on all certified checks. It is helpful to include your ship and sail date on any correspondence. A good daytime phone number and email address is important if we need to reach you about your booking. Any changes in your reservation including category, number of people in cabin, names in cabin, additions & deletions to cabin, etc, MUST be received in WRITING.
Translation: WE will call You. Don't YOU call US. And when you are speaking to our guy, Raoul, you may hear street noises. That's because our booking office is at ground level, not because our agent moon-lights as a cab drive.
General Cruise Notes
If you consider your cruise ship a floating resort that transports you from one port to another as an added bonus, everything will be placed in proper perspective. If you feel naked without your diamonds and emeralds, or a lot of cash on hand, then bring them along.
Translation: We've got a poker game, and you are invited! The big boss Kory's telling us that $17,000,000 a year in losses can be made back right quick with a ship full of suckahs. That's plan B if the CRTC doesn't come through.