Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Ezra Levant's Freedom Cruise Update: Tips For Travelers

As you know, last year Ezra Levant and the Sun News Network arranged a "Freedom Weekend" up in Muskoka for big-C Conservative zealots.  Since nobody who signed up for that trip has ever spoken ill of it, or even been seen again, Ezra and the gang have decided to try again with a 7-day excursion up the West Coast to Alaska.  A "Freedom Cruise", as they are calling it.  Ezra and co. have even provided a nice FAQ for potential cruise-goers.  I shall reproduce a few of the Q/As below, along with my comments and interpretations:

What to wear


For this cruise, you will want very casual and comfortable wear during the day. This means slacks, shorts, T-shirts and sweatshirts as well as comfortable walking/hiking shoes. In general you should dress moderately on shore and save the dressy clothes for the ship.

Translation: no fashion showboating in front of the locals.  In  Alaska its dark half the year, and they need a human sacrifice to prepare for sunrise  Also, some of the oil rig workers up there haven't seen female flesh in a yonks.  If you don't want to get yourself killed, gang-raped, and eaten, pretend you're in Saudi Arabia.  This applies to the guys too.  Maybe especially.


All future correspondence will go to the address on your confirmation. Address changes must be received in writing. There is a booking number on your confirmation. Please write this number on all certified checks. It is helpful to include your ship and sail date on any correspondence. A good daytime phone number and email address is important if we need to reach you about your booking. Any changes in your reservation including category, number of people in cabin, names in cabin, additions & deletions to cabin, etc, MUST be received in WRITING.

Translation:  WE will call You.  Don't YOU call US.  And when you are speaking to our guy, Raoul, you may hear street noises.  That's because our booking office is at ground level, not because our agent  moon-lights as a cab drive.

General Cruise Notes

If you consider your cruise ship a floating resort that transports you from one port to another as an added bonus, everything will be placed in proper perspective. If you feel naked without your diamonds and emeralds, or a lot of cash on hand, then bring them along. 

Translation: We've got a poker game, and you are invited!  The big boss Kory's telling us that  $17,000,000 a year in losses can be made back right quick with a ship full of suckahs.  That's plan B if the CRTC doesn't come through.


CuJoYYC said...

As you no doubt have noticed before, I tend to go on about US spelling and double spaces after sentences. So, FWIW, you might appreciate knowing that I ragged on Ezra's Sun News(sic) "Freedom Cruise" crap that you pointed to for the same transgressions.

I really am an equal opportunity jerk. ha ha ha

Actually, we can all hope for some unseasonably rough waters for the Propaganda Cruise. Imagine the whiney, small-minded bloviator-in-chief spewing over the ship's railing instead of at a studio camera for a change. It would look good on him.

deb said...


rumleyfips said...

I hope Justin doesn't see this. He might wear shorts and a t-shirt.

Balbulican said...

Did Ezra's event last year actually take place? I haven't read a single word or seen a single picture from what promised to be hilarious event (remember the highlight of Saturday night was going to be an lecture on astronomy?) I did call on the Thursday preceding the event to inquire whether there were any spaces still available, and was assure that there were "plenty". When I asked whether the kitchen could guarantee Halal meals, however, they seemed to lose interest in me.