Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Santa Should Straighten Up And Fly Right
He should dump the pipe. Kids staying up late Xmas night, hiding behind the couch to catch a glimpse, will see him with the thing and take up the habit themselves. They'll get tongue cancer, like Eddy Van Halen. But Eddy could afford to have his removed and install a prosthetic. Kids don't have that kind of dough; so they're screwed. X-mas traditionalists--who believe there should be five mistletoes for every menorah, and think Kwanza is a bunch of politically correct garbage that got whomped-up to appease Louis Farrakhan--should reconsider when it comes to Santa's pipe. Do it for the children.