Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Santa Should Straighten Up And Fly Right

 He should dump the pipe.  Kids staying up late Xmas night, hiding behind the couch to catch a glimpse, will see him with the thing and take up the habit themselves.  They'll get tongue cancer, like Eddy Van Halen.  But Eddy could afford to have his removed and install a prosthetic.  Kids don't have that kind of dough; so they're screwed.  X-mas traditionalists--who believe there should be five mistletoes for every menorah, and  think Kwanza is a bunch of politically correct garbage that got whomped-up to appease Louis Farrakhan--should reconsider when it comes to Santa's pipe.  Do it for the children.

1 comment:

lungta said...

In a survey of things known by children about santas' attributes pipe smoking was listed as 97th, 20 places after imaginary, 60 places after fat or obese, 54 places after wears animal fur, 35 places after criminal break and enter. Children of peta stressed animal cruelty in having reindeer race around the world . Deforestation (Christmas trees), labor rights ( elf sweat shops), genetic manipulation ( rudolfs red nose), arctic land rights (traditional use), global warming ( disappearing ice), mind control (sugar plums dancing in my head mom), womens rights (wheres Mrs. Claus), gun control (pop gun supplier) and sexual stereotyping( only the girls get dolls) were also mentioned

please stay tuned for further updates as this has been sent to a committee on human rights with the possibility of criminal charges being preferred and litigation is pending from various interest groups

Got a chuckle out of
"Santa Should Straighten Up And Fly Right" too
That comes straight out of the
"smoke'em if you got'em" generation
when we defeated that godless non-smoking nazi leader, for our freedoms.