Firstly, it is a good thing that Charles McVety exists, okay? A very good thing! If Charles Mcvety didn't exist, there would be anarchy, a godless darkness filled with men in thongs, singing and dancing and having cuddle parties! Okay? Charles McVety is truly, truly wonderful. Lets get that out of the way. I love you Charles McVety.
2ndly, don't fuck with those rural backbenchers! I've been through that prick Brad Trost's riding many times, and its basically the foothills outside of gooberville. If you took every brain in town and rolled them together it wouldn't make a single moron. So I figured, what the hell? I've worked hard for the party, for the nation--I've worked hard for my jr. Ministry. Handing out tourism pork is supposed to be my gig! But no! They're like the Great Plains Illuminati out there. One word and there's pitchfork hanging out your ass! As happened to me! My own fault, though. I didn't see the signs, didn't obey the rules. So let me make another thing clear: Brad, you are a strong, wise male and I a mere woman with silly pretentions to individual autonomy. You are also a magnificent physical specimen, with an ass that's hard as a rock! All muscle, I swear! You could bounce a marble off that ass! In fact, you are so hot that it makes me wonder if...
And as for that damned picture! Too me that says "full bodied woman", okay? Look at the picture and tell me if it doesn't say "full bodied woman" to you. Canada's big cities, let me tell you, are crawling with "full bodied women".
So by all means lets get Government out of the festival business. Or at least get me out of the festival business. Although, I guess you could say that I am out of the festival business. Not by choice, though! I was rubbed out of the festival business.
(Okay, Stevie, I've said it. Can I have some power back now?)