Saturday, March 10, 2007

Free McClelland!


1) Because he did apologize, and even though his apology is all of 50 words long and reads like it was spit from between busted teeth, that's good enough for me.

2) Because it sends a big Fuck You! to the evil bald one, a man who still embraces "punk" even as he closes in on 50, which is basically admitting that he's played guitar for thirty years and still can't do the third chord.

3) Because McClelland has taught us a useful lesson about political discourse: if you want to slag off a race/religious or ethnic group, for God sake don't fuck with them Jews! They've got gnarly powers! McClelland learned the hard way, and he got off easy. He's lucky his credit rating didn't go up in flames on him! My advice is: pick one of those small ex-communist Eastern European countries where they're all half-starved, or someplace in Asia where they're tiny and but don't know kung fu. Nobody gives a shit what you say about those people. And nobody gives a shit if you diss the Muslims either, come to think of it, but that's a bit like picking on a little girl. And leave the Irish alone, because we're sweet and not very tall anyway, and don't bug the rastamen, because they've got cool hair and Bob Marley. Of course, RACISM IS WRONG, BIGOTRY IS WRONG and we musn't condone them. But if you come from a multi-ethnic city like Toronto for example where there's a hundred different varieties of annoying people, perfection is not possible, and its best to stick to the rules I'm laying down should you suffer a moment of weakness.

4) Because McClelland has inspired me to my own apology. April, I was wrong to call Belinda a slut. Or rather, I was wrong to omit the fact that Peter McKay is five times the slut she is, flying from town to town on tax-payer money and banging anything that moves until he's so dehydrated and fuzzed out that he can't piss straight or figure out what city he's in. In fact, I was personally shocked, and I think it is a discredit to our Western Phallocracy, that a guy should be able to get away with such lechery just because he's sexxxy. Had I known this, I could have got laid way more often when I was young! Instead, I thought you were supposed to behave honorably, but fuck that shit, right? Alas, it's too late for me! In any case, Belinda can sleep with as many hockey players as she wants, and I won't say a word! I wash my hands of the whole situation! (But could she at least try one of the smaller, skill players? You know: smaller, but skilled. Not big and dumb. At least someone who's had a 30 goal season)

5) Because the blogosphere is not for wimps, and the Progressive Blogosphere needs more assholes like McClelland. If all we've got are panty-waists, girly-men, goody-two shoes, hair farmers, leaf eaters, bed wetters, navel gazers, nose pickers, washed up bag men, sniffy ponces, and metrosexual suit wearing sissies, the Conservative movement will eat us for breakfast.

Note: I've got no dog in any dispute between McClelland and Cherniak. In fact, if anything it would work out best for me if McClelland just disappeared from the scene. Then I'd be a shew in for the bald one's annual worst blogger award. With Robert around, I've got competition.


bigcitylib said...

Link to it rat, and send me some traffic, if you get any.

Ti-Guy said...

Man, you're obsessive, Rat. You must have been waiting, literally, for days for BCL to jump on this, so you could post your entirely predictable and boring retort.

f all we've got are panty-waists, girly-mreen, goody-two shoes, hair farmers, leaf eaters, bed wetters, navel gazers, nose pickers, washed up bag men, sniffy ponces, and metrosexual suit wearing sissies...

I love this parapraph. How about one that captures the Blogging Tories: Psychos, rednecks, blue-hairs, biker-chicks,...Calgarians...latent homosexuals, frat boys, mean girls and trolls.

skdadl said...

Yay! Canadian bloggers are learning how to wig out!

Well done, BCL, and come home: all is forgiven. ;-)

And now I have to work up some courage m'self. Argh.

Anonymous said...

Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine
And we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down
Let's have a round for these freaks and these soldiers
A round for these friends of mine

Have a good one!

bigcitylib said...


I actually have Carey on my mp3 player. So all is forgiven?

Dr.Dawg said...

You made a good beginning--the "spit from between busted teeth" bit--but got off track a little, although in delightful prose.

People who know me know what I think of the "hierarchy of hatreds" -- Lord knows I've blogged about it enough. Gibson gets nailed--Coulter (until recently) gets a pass. Don't fuck with the gays, I guess. Ahenakew gets turned naked into the streets--but (insert several well-known bloggers' names here) get to spew miserable, cheap, racist crap about Native people, and the most they get is an argument.

Well, this may look like more of the same, but I can assure all and sundry that we didn't get a call from Ed Morgan or Peter Newman, and anyway, we don't have any Order of Canada medals to be seized. We just looked at a remark about indifference if they came again for the Jews, and thought maybe that kind of commentary doesn't belong in a progressive blogroll. If some ProgBlogger had said, say, "Arabs are violent retards," their ass would be over-done toast as well. Just didn't shake down that way.

McClelland is just as free as he's always been. Just not in our house, at the moment.

bigcitylib said...

Dr. Dawg,

I actually don't disagree with the Prog Blogs decision. However time passes and things change and maybe you guys will have an opportunity to revisit your decision. But I would not really push the issue if you didn't.

Ti-Guy said...

Stop troling, Ezra.

It's OK, Holly. Just denounce me. ;)

Ti-Guy said...

Confrères? Are trolls organising? Don't they have Blogging Tories for that? Or has there been a schism?

canuckistanian said...

great post bcl...frickin hilarious actually.

Aaron Ginsberg said...

The failure of our society to properly condemn Islamophobia and other forms of racism does not excuse anti-semitism. We should be working towards the day when all discriminatory comments receive the same strong condemnation.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else out there tired of this McCelland thing?

I sure am.

Anonymous said...

Hey rat - you're biggoted against people who lick arse. You must be rimophobic. Take your rimophobia elsewhere. The blogosphere has no room for this kind of hatred.

Balbulican said...

Robert's apology is slighthly better than Ronald Reagan's classic "mistakes were made". Robert is saying: I pissed some people off, and I'm sorry they're pissed off. I'm sure he is: I just don't see how that statement illuminates what Robert thinks.

I honestly don't know what he thinks: I do know he gets himself into rhetorical positions that his ego won't let him back down from.