Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Meet BigCityLib

Alright, Kinsella denies that he was the person who sent me me that nasty anonymous e-mail this morning threatening me with exposure. He claims, however, that, just co-incidentally, he is trying to expose me as well. Or something like that. His personal e-mails to me have been rather coy on the topic. Perhaps he is just anticipating my eventual exposure from some third-party source. In any case, the guy can manipulate a mouse and hence consult Google, which I didn't expect, so he was able to suss out my last name. Since the process of exposing me might, it is hinted, involve my wife (who still may have some formal connections to the Liberal Party), I thought I might as well expose myself before it got that far.

I don't know what shall follow. Kinsella still seems to be hinting that this will all precipitate into a smear piece in the National Post. If so, thank God it will appear where nobody will see it.

You know, I had planned to reveal my true identity in time, but I had imagined the moment differently. I had imagined it happening the morning after Steven Harper staggered up to a CBC microphone, wild eyed and foaming at the mouth, and announced "Bring me the head of BigCity Liberal!" thus destroying any hope of a Tory majority. At that point, my book and movie deals would have already been in place.

But no. Apparently, I have to slap my way past a mob of crayon-wielders from the local tabloids before I get a chance to piss off the big man himself.

Well, so be it. BigCityLib is:

Name: M(ichael) J(ohn) Murphy
Birthplace: Someplace in B.C. (Vernon, I think)
Age: 43

(Note to Kinsella: Yes, 43 years old. 14 years older than you and with, at least from the pictures I've seen of you, far, far more hair. While the Canadian economy roars along, you seem to be suffering your own personal recession up top there. Year after year, the "punk" look becomes less a lifestyle choice for you, and more of a sad necessity)

Employment: Industry Research
Party Affiliation: None. Joined the Tories once, to support Orchard's insurgency. Liberal at heart though, if they don't fuck up and pick Iggy and turn in to a limp-wrist version of the Tories.
Leverage within the Liberal Apparatus: Zilch. Just a bad attitude and a blog. Crush me, Kinsella, and you'll be going after even smaller fry than Thomas Hubert. That about your speed? Maybe there'll be a few Lib Bloggers will lend a hand.
Political Credibility: Similar to above. No, wait! I have negative credibility. When I finally endorse a Lib Leadership candidate, they'll shit themselves in panic. Keep your head down, Iggy!

So there you go. And here's a picture of me:
















BIGCITYLIB, ALWAYS SMILING

PS. Kinsella, now you know you who I am. Anything you wish to write about me, or my opinions, or what I believe, feel free. We can do a throw down any time: you at the rapidly sinking ship called the National Post, me at my little blog. But the more you bug me in public, the sillier I will make you look. That's my word to you.

PPS. TDS, whose gutless now? Will we be seeing a comments section at your blog anytime soon? No? Will you then admit to being a girly-man?

PPPS. This information will go up on my profile, eventually, when I figure out how to use that part of Blogger.

Carry on, then.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stephen Harper will never, ever give a flying foo-foo what you think, what you say, who you are or what you do or not do. You, your ideas and opinions are not worth the price of admission. Totally worthless.

He doesn't need to care about morons, political skanks and weenie-brains like you & whackjobs like My Blahg/Robert and Queen Meighen.

Have a nice life as a Liberal. Keep up your inane diatribes and keep driving sane voters to support the CPC and our fabulous Prime Minister.

Oxford County Liberals said...

That was great parody Fred.. you should try getting a gig with Stephen Colbert.

Ti-Guy said...

OMFG...That's what you look like? That's it...I'm voting Conservative. I mean, even Myron Thompson is more photogenic..

bigcitylib said...

Ti-Guy, I took several pictures of myself, and picked the one that most made me look like a slobbering psychopath. Because I don't just want to criticize the National Post, I want to work there someday.

Christoph Dollis said...

While I disagree with virtually everything you say, often vitriolically, you've finally outed yourself and, under pressure to do so including probably being quickly unmasked, taken responsibility under your own name for your ridiculous pronouncements.

I'm hoping now that you've done so you will measure your remarks with more thought and less impetuousness.

Jason Cherniak said...

Fianlly I know who you are. Wow! Now I can die content.

Tarkwell Robotico said...

dumb AND ugly - who knew?

Jacques Beau Vert said...

I agree with Chris Dollis on this one -- more thoughtful commentary would be very welcome. I notice a sharp increase in your behaviour the last two days already. But then, bullies respond quickly when a bigger bully challenges.

percyq said...

Pot calling the kettle black, if you had the guts to publish a pic of your mug, Chuckles.

Ti-Guy said...

What a bunch of obnoxious scolds. Can you believe the Chris Dollis? Anyone that fat with pubic hair on his face shouldn't be so supercilious.

And who's that angry nut-case Bo something or other? Guy needs to be wrapped in wet sheets, quite frankly.

pdd said...

Having seen your picture, can you go back into your natural obscurity please.

Pedro said...

What the phtooey does "Industry Research" mean?
Pedro

bigcitylib said...

Pedro,

Means a glorified librarian.

burke said...

Kinsella is not 29! I do believe he is still a couple of years your senior actually. I can't believe you fell for his 29 years young thing. Then again, maybe you weren't being serious?

bigcitylib said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bigcitylib said...

Burke, actually I did fall for it. Lucky I didn't accuse him of not being a true punk (which I was considering). The bald crack still applies.

(Although some bald men are truly sexxy, Kinsella is, well, not sexxxy)

davidt said...

"I don't know what shall follow. Kinsella still seems to be hinting that this will all precipitate into a smear piece in the National Post. If so, thank God it will appear where nobody will see it."

Now thats funny.

Jeff said...

hey, nice melon.and fred? weenie-brain? dude, dig a little deeper. fight the good fight bigcitylib.

Sophie said...

Please keep up the good work Mikey. We Conservative supporters appreciate your contributions to the cause!

Dave T. said...

Wow, that Chris Dollis guy is hot. Hey, Chris, give me a shout some time. I bet we could have some fun.

iggyforpresident said...

Murphy, er BCL, shouldn't have posted that pic. Gawd, you look like a perv, where you been trolling now that Don Mills is closed, Fairview? Kinsella could shave his freak'n head, he would still look better than you. BTW, you didn't get your 15 minutes of fame afterall, he ignored you in his piece today.

bigcitylib said...

IggyforP,

I think I've got Kinsella scared. Or crying.

Duke said...

You don't have more hair, you just have back-to-front comb-over.

This is allvery entertaining and I thank you. I thank Kinsella too, although his taste in music is quite juvenile. Perhpas he will later embrace blues, then move on up from that to actual music.

You look just like the dork I had envisioned.