Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Meet BigCityLib

Alright, Kinsella denies that he was the person who sent me me that nasty anonymous e-mail this morning threatening me with exposure. He claims, however, that, just co-incidentally, he is trying to expose me as well. Or something like that. His personal e-mails to me have been rather coy on the topic. Perhaps he is just anticipating my eventual exposure from some third-party source. In any case, the guy can manipulate a mouse and hence consult Google, which I didn't expect, so he was able to suss out my last name. Since the process of exposing me might, it is hinted, involve my wife (who still may have some formal connections to the Liberal Party), I thought I might as well expose myself before it got that far.

I don't know what shall follow. Kinsella still seems to be hinting that this will all precipitate into a smear piece in the National Post. If so, thank God it will appear where nobody will see it.

You know, I had planned to reveal my true identity in time, but I had imagined the moment differently. I had imagined it happening the morning after Steven Harper staggered up to a CBC microphone, wild eyed and foaming at the mouth, and announced "Bring me the head of BigCity Liberal!" thus destroying any hope of a Tory majority. At that point, my book and movie deals would have already been in place.

But no. Apparently, I have to slap my way past a mob of crayon-wielders from the local tabloids before I get a chance to piss off the big man himself.

Well, so be it. BigCityLib is:

Name: M(ichael) J(ohn) Murphy
Birthplace: Someplace in B.C. (Vernon, I think)
Age: 43

(Note to Kinsella: Yes, 43 years old. 14 years older than you and with, at least from the pictures I've seen of you, far, far more hair. While the Canadian economy roars along, you seem to be suffering your own personal recession up top there. Year after year, the "punk" look becomes less a lifestyle choice for you, and more of a sad necessity)

Employment: Industry Research
Party Affiliation: None. Joined the Tories once, to support Orchard's insurgency. Liberal at heart though, if they don't fuck up and pick Iggy and turn in to a limp-wrist version of the Tories.
Leverage within the Liberal Apparatus: Zilch. Just a bad attitude and a blog. Crush me, Kinsella, and you'll be going after even smaller fry than Thomas Hubert. That about your speed? Maybe there'll be a few Lib Bloggers will lend a hand.
Political Credibility: Similar to above. No, wait! I have negative credibility. When I finally endorse a Lib Leadership candidate, they'll shit themselves in panic. Keep your head down, Iggy!

So there you go. And here's a picture of me:


PS. Kinsella, now you know you who I am. Anything you wish to write about me, or my opinions, or what I believe, feel free. We can do a throw down any time: you at the rapidly sinking ship called the National Post, me at my little blog. But the more you bug me in public, the sillier I will make you look. That's my word to you.

PPS. TDS, whose gutless now? Will we be seeing a comments section at your blog anytime soon? No? Will you then admit to being a girly-man?

PPPS. This information will go up on my profile, eventually, when I figure out how to use that part of Blogger.

Carry on, then.


Oxford County Liberals said...

That was great parody Fred.. you should try getting a gig with Stephen Colbert.

bigcitylib said...

Ti-Guy, I took several pictures of myself, and picked the one that most made me look like a slobbering psychopath. Because I don't just want to criticize the National Post, I want to work there someday.

Christoph Dollis said...

While I disagree with virtually everything you say, often vitriolically, you've finally outed yourself and, under pressure to do so including probably being quickly unmasked, taken responsibility under your own name for your ridiculous pronouncements.

I'm hoping now that you've done so you will measure your remarks with more thought and less impetuousness.

Jason Cherniak said...

Fianlly I know who you are. Wow! Now I can die content.

Jacques Beau Vert said...

I agree with Chris Dollis on this one -- more thoughtful commentary would be very welcome. I notice a sharp increase in your behaviour the last two days already. But then, bullies respond quickly when a bigger bully challenges.

percyq said...

Pot calling the kettle black, if you had the guts to publish a pic of your mug, Chuckles.

bigcitylib said...


Means a glorified librarian.

bigcitylib said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
bigcitylib said...

Burke, actually I did fall for it. Lucky I didn't accuse him of not being a true punk (which I was considering). The bald crack still applies.

(Although some bald men are truly sexxy, Kinsella is, well, not sexxxy)

Jeff said...

hey, nice melon.and fred? weenie-brain? dude, dig a little deeper. fight the good fight bigcitylib.

bigcitylib said...


I think I've got Kinsella scared. Or crying.

J West said...

You don't have more hair, you just have back-to-front comb-over.

This is allvery entertaining and I thank you. I thank Kinsella too, although his taste in music is quite juvenile. Perhpas he will later embrace blues, then move on up from that to actual music.

You look just like the dork I had envisioned.